The Dog, The Spider, The Weasel, The Shark (ON HOLD SORRY!)
by Crestentione
Summary: The Phantomhive manor and "friends" are going to the Naruto world! But I don't think it's intentional. Watch as the demon world clashes with the ninja world while trying to get back home! And what's with Alois being obsessed with Itachi? Rated M for yaoi, no lemons, sexual references, and such. Don't like yaoi don't come in and start being a douche. Those who like yaoi welcome! :3


Authors Note:Celeste Ominous - Kuroshitsuji comes to Naruto world and ends up protecting Itachi from Alois and Claude, while trying to get back home.

Chapter 1:l Demons, Shinigamis, Ninjas, and Undertaker

Ciel's POV

This was ridiculous not only were we stuck in a forest but even Sebastian didn't know where we were, and we were also stuck with Grell and William. "I really don't have any information on where we are, when I get back there will be loads of overtime to do. Honestly.", William spoke. "Don't you have your book that has a "To Die" list in it? Perhaps we could use that.", Sebastian suggested. "We would use it if we had it, it seems that Grell and I were sent here with only our death scythes.", William stated while fixing his glasses. Grell suddenly yawned, "I'm getting so tired! Seba-chan can you help me please?" "Young master, Alois Trancy is over there!", Sebastian informed. I whirled around to see Alois and Claude walking towards us. "Sebastian g-!", I started to talk but some another voice stopped me. "You're trespassing on our grounds.", a unidentified male said. I looked to see two men with black cloaks with red clouds on them, they both wore strange hats with bells on them. "Trespassing, oh dear was there a crime here?", Sebastian asked. "No. These are our grounds and if you don't leave...", the shorter of the two said. "He won't stop me from killing you.", the man who was taller than Sebastian finished. "Who the hell do you think you are?"(Avatar Stupidity comes to me each time I read tis line.), I shouted. "We're both members of a S-ranked organization called the Akatsuki. My name is Uchiha Itachi.", the shorter one said taking off his hat. His had red eyes and lines coming down from his eyes. "The name is Hoshigaki Kisame, kid.", the taller of them spoke also taking off his hat. He had blue skin gills, and tiny yellow eyes. "W-what are you some kind of fish?", I asked shocked by his appearance. "I'm a shark-man damn it! Itachi-san can I kill this brat?", he yelled grabbing the hilt of what looked like a sword on his back. "Oh! Itachi is your name? You know you really should put up a warning for your sexiness!", Grell shouted. "I am sorry but I'm not very interested in a realationship right now. Kisame y-", Itachi started. "How about with me?", another voice came. "My name is Alois Trancy, and I think we could get along swimmingly!", Alois shouted. "Why are both of these guys gay?", Kisame asked. "No, I'm not interested. Kisame go ahead and kill as many as you want to.", Itachi stated. "Oh! You're not going to connect with me? Well it can't be helped. Claude this is an order get Itachi to come with us!", Alois shouted. "Yes, your highness.", Claude said as he kneeled. He got back up and faced Itachi, "My highness wants you as his own, so you will be his!" He dashed forward and swooped down to grab Itachi's arm. Before he was close enough Itachi played with his hands in a odd way and shouted, "Fireball no jutsu!" A giant fire ball appeared out of nowhere and hit Claude but was headed for the rest of us, Sebastian carried me to safetey. I looked to see Claude unburnt setting down Alois, and the two shinigami beside me. Claude bolted off again and I turned to Sebastian, "Shall we go my lord?" I looked at Alois who was smiling like a madman. "Sebastian this is an order, I hate to see Alois happy, so protect Itachi and get us out of here!", I yelled. Sebastian kneeled, "Yes my lord." He dissapeared.

Itachi's POV

"Kisame, help me!", was the one thing I would have never thought of saying. "Coming!", he shouted. This Claude had his arms wrapped around me and was biting my neck. I elbowed him in the stomach and he let go. "Itachi, I assure you if you would just come with me you will not be harmed.", he said calmly. I shook, this man he scared me! I looked him in the eyes and shouted, "Mangekyo Sharringan!"

"What is your worst fear? The one that makes you shake and vomit?", I asked him in the deepest part of his mind. "Losing him, my highness.", I was told. "Well let's see him being lost in the most horrible ways shall we?", I toyed with him. "N-no!", he yelled. I continued anyways, "Live your life watching him die and being tortured for the next seventy-two hours!" I opened my eyes to not see him anywhere. I looked behind me to see the tall man who was beside the young blue-haired boy fighting Claude. 'How did he do that?', I thought. I suddenly stumbled and fell into someone's hands, I looked up to see Kisame frowning at me. "Are you about to throw-up?", he asked. I nodded, he guided me over to a tree and I threw-up brutally. "Jeez, what happened?", he asked. It was obviously a retorical question, because I couldn't answer. As soon as I told him I was done he lifted me up in his arms, I struggled because I didn't like being craddled like a baby. "Calm down Itachi-san!", he told me and this time I listened and fell asleep sometime later.

Kisame POV

What did that guy do to him? He's never been this worn out before. "You need to flee now.", a voice came. I turned to see the guy who was fighting Claude facing me. "Why? I can still fight!", I retorted. "Just think if you let go of him for one moment and I'm not there to help, Claude will suceed in catching him and turning him into a sex-slave, and it will be both of our faults.", he told me calmly. I didn't answer. "There really is no making you leave is there?", he asked. I didn't answer again. "Well if there's nothing I can do...Grell! I know you're there so can you please help me? I still can help you.", he called out. "Seba-chan! You're mean, making me wait for an answer so long!", a man's voice came. Suddenly the other gay guy who had hit on Itachi before dashed towards me with a giant weapon and swung it at me. I dodged and the weapon hit a tree next to me, the weapon was slicing through the tree by itself! "Damn it!", I yelled and ran off when he ran after me with the weapon cutting through each tree we passed.

Sebastian's POV

Kisame was definitley an exotic human, but very stubborn like most humans. "I will enjoy playing with your soul Kisame.", I said to myself. I ran back to my lord's side and picked him up, "Did you see them go past here my lord?" "Yes, he was being chased by Grell also.", he said as I ran in the direction Kisame and Grell had gone. William followed close behind. He started to talk, "Do you have any idea where we are going?" I looked ahead already seeing Grell chasing the shark-man I had argued with earlier, "We're following him. Those two were headed somewhere when they met us, he's going to that place so we're going there also." I ignored the rest of his meaningless questions and sped up to now now run right behind Grell silently.

We were now at the edge of a river that was far too wide for the two shinigami to hop across, I could run across like Kisame had done carrying them but William was simply to proud for that. Indeed in time we all had gotten across but we had lost Kisame. "This is ridiculous, Sebastian find where he was headed to and lead us there!", my young master yelled getting highly impatient. "Yes my lord.", I kneeled then headed off because no matter what orders are orders.

Kisame's POV

I had just taken Itachi-san to the infirmary to rest and now, I was headed to report to leader-sama. I decided I was going to tell him everything even about the hot servant, I mean even the brat's servant ordering that Grell guy to chase me with the unidentified weapon. "Kisame.", a voice that made even me jump said from behind. I turned to meet the face of my stalker to close for comfort. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself properly, my name is Sebastian Michaelis.", he said with a smile. I backed away and grabbed for Samehada's hilt but was pushed roughly into the wall. "Can't have you hurting anyone, can we?", he whispered. "Now I just need to bring my young master here and he can rest here. Please go tell your master, I know you're not him.", he said. I blinked and he was gone. "WHAT THE HELL!", I screamed and ran towards the infirmary. Leader-sama was sure to be there checking in on what happened to Itachi.

"Let's put this straight, they were trespassing and two of the group started to flirt with Itachi?", leader-sama asked. I nodded. "One of the two of these males was insane and ordered his servant Claude to capture Itachi? After that Itachi attacked and Claude came back completley unharmed and they fought?", he asked I nodded again. "Then Claude was apparently placed in Mangekyo Sharringan but then started to fight the other man Sebastian who seemed to want to protect Itachi? While this happened Itachi threw-up then fell asleep, after this happened Sebastian told you to flee?", I nodded when he finished. "You refused to listen to him and he called out the other homosexual man who then chased you with a weapon that automatically cut through a tree?", he asked. "Yeah! That thing was the most dangerous weapon I've ever seen!", I yelled. "Okay then you apparently lost him at the river and kept running here, you put Itachi in the infirmary and went to report to me? However before you got there Sebastian came and told you to tell me he'd be here soon?", he asked. "Yes.", I whispered because it felt like he was blaming me. "You ran here and instead of pursuing him you did what he told you to?", he asked I nodded again. "I'm only half blaming you for this.", he said calmly. "It's not my fault, he's stronger than me and faster than anyone I've ever seen! He didn't even have any chakara to track!", I told him. "I will have one team go and eliminate them, Zetsu will be guarding this room so neither you or Itachi will leave.", he informed. I sighed and got under the covers of my bed, I was still uneasy but I still managed to fall asleep.

"Kisame!", someone called to me. I opened my eyes and looked to my side to see Itachi-san standing by my bed. "Itachi-san, are you feeling okay now?, I asked him still waking up a bit. "Are you okay? Leader-sama is grounding us in here isn't he?", he asked. "Yeah I'm fine. We can't go anywhere until he comes back. This sucks, it's like he's blaming us!", I yelled in frustration. "Well it is everyone's fault in the end isn't it?", an unknown voice came from nowhere in the room. I looked at a coffin in the far corner in the room, "Um where the hell did that coffin come from Itachi-san?", I yelled. "Oh, I'm still in my coffin? How lovely.", the unknown voice came again. "He's inside of it!", Itachi-san stated. The coffin door flung open to reveal a tall man in a black robe, and black hat placed on his long messy white head of hair that covered his eyes. "Who are you, and how did you move that in here without us noticing?", Itachi-san questioned. "I am my good sir, the Undertaker! As for how I got here, even I don't know that! He he he!", he sounded like an old riddle man and giggled like a little girl. "I can see you are confused, you are troubled no?", he asked. We were going to kill him anyways so might as well vent a little, I thought. "Well we're being followed by a little brat with an eyepatch and his psycho servant, they also have these gay guys who were trying to abduct Itachi-san!", I yelled out I was only half finished when Undertaker-san interrupted. "An eyepatch, on his right eye, he also had blue hair and clothing yes?", he asked. "You know them.", Itachi said taking out a kunai from his cloak which was on the bed. It wasn't a question, he was right about the eyepatch, hair color and clothing, he definitely had seen them before. "I can't tell you more unless...you give me humor!", he yelled. Itachi-san appeared in front of him with the kunai at his throat, "I'm sorry we're incapable of humor at the moment, so how about this for size?" He was pissed and losing his patience with the apparently old man, and he was going to get his answer one way or the other.

Pein's POV (I get tired, so!)

To be continued...

Celeste-Ominous - Ha ha ha!

Pein - You just had to cut it off at my part didn't you!?

Celeste-Ominous - It's funny! I'll start up again next chapter! Oh and I think I'll be able to do everyone's POV except for Undertaker's and Madara's because what they're thinking is elusive to me!

Undertaker - That's very fine with me, I like what you've done with my charecter.

Madara - I'm fine as long as I'm elusive.

Kisame - I don't, why the hell am I calling Sebastian hot?!

Celeste-Ominous - You do not want to know.

Sebastian - What happened?

Celeste-Ominous - Well...in the story's first draft you kind of molested Kisame. Yeah writer's block was killing me that day.

Everyone-...DAMN YOU WRITER'S BLOCK!

Writer's Block - FINE! I'll leave, jeez!

Tobi - Now that Block-san is gone, I can't wait until next chapter!

Celeste-Ominous, Tobi - Please review!

Madara - Or else.

Grell - *Turns chainsaw on*

Madara - He'll give me the chainsaw.

Celeste-Ominous - If you're smart you will know it's not smart to give Madara Uchiha a frigging chainsaw!

Madara, Grell - Review!


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